


Vocabulary Lesson

by Ononymous



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 11:42:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13680987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ononymous/pseuds/Ononymous
Summary: Papyrus buying flowers? On Valentine's Day? Who's the lucky one? Undyne is determined to find out.





	Vocabulary Lesson

With a deft snip, Lily pruned the thorns from the near-white rose, leaving it safe for all to carry without the gloves she currently wore. Love of the game kept her in this shop giving flowers and gossip freely, even when that windfall could have let her retire without grief from Amsterdam. No customer since that day had been ever as generous, but if they had too much hair or not enough, their friendliness was enough. And with a pleasant jingle from the bell above her door, her next customer was of the hair-free variety.

"GREETINGS, ROSE-OR-LILY!"

She had gasped softly as her eyes properly registered what was in her shop. He had no hair, but also no flesh. Not that skeletons were unknown to her, other monsters talked about them, but it was still strange to see one in the not-flesh. The shock didn't last long, as she took in his fixed skull, giving off a cheerful friendly aura Lily had no idea how she even recognised this.

"It's... it's Lily, m'dear. Can I help you with something?"

"INDEED YOU CAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, JUST LEARNED THAT HUMANS CALL TODAY 'VALENTINE'S DAY'. IS THAT CORRECT?"

"Yes, sir."

"AND ON THIS DAY, IT'S CUSTOMARY TO GIVE GIFTS LIKE CHOCOLATE OR FLOWERS TO SOMEONE YOU CARE FOR?"

"Absolutely, Mister, em, Papyrus. D'you want to do that?"

"INDEED! IT'S A DELIGHTFUL TRADITION, AND I FEAR THAT I'VE BEEN WORKING VERY HARD LATELY, AND I'VE BEEN LAX IN COMMUNICATING MY FEELINGS. SO WHAT BETTER WAY TO MAKE AMENDS THAN WITH FLOWERS?"

"'s a lovely thought, m'dear. Now, what sort of flowers would you like to give?"

"AN EXCELLENT QUESTION. OH, THESE GOLDEN FLOWERS ARE RATHER VIBRANT! THEY REMIND ME OF A FRIEND OF MINE. HOWEVER THAT'S NOT WHO I'M GETTING THEM FOR, AND MY OTHER FRIENDS HAVE MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT THEM IN GENERAL. WHAT OTHER FLOWERS WOULD YOU GIVE?"

"Well sir, roses are a popular choice today, though some'd think they're a little too obvious. I'd have maybe suggested tulips, but..." Lily's eyes drifted to the ground. "Can't say I have a good supplier of 'em just now. If you're willin' to be careful with taking them, Bluebells might be a nice touch."

"WOWIE, THEY'RE THE PERFECT COLOUR! I'M ALREADY THINKING OF HOW WE SPEND TIME TOGETHER JUST LOOKING AT THEM. ONE POT OF BLUEBELLS FLOWERS, PLEASE!"

Ten minutes later Lily had filled a pot with them, giving Papyrus some flower food and giving him instructions on what he should do if he wanted to replant them. Papyrus had been completely open about how he hardly understood what she was saying, but that the King would help him if he got into difficulty. With that, three gold coins crossed her palm. Not as much as the fishy windfall, but still many times more than the flowers were worth. Come to think of it, Han might just listen to her again if she got in touch with a forward investment like this. Typical, just when she thought she was out, these monsters tempt her back in.

* * *

The pot travelled on one directional axis alone. Papyrus had taken utmost care not to disturb the flowers any more than absolutely necessary, lest this whole endeavour go to waste. So even as he bobbed slightly, he adjusted his arms to keep the pot the exact same distance off the ground. The humans that saw him paid his constant adjustment of posture no mind. It wasn't like that was strange behaviour for him.

"Hey, Papyrus!"

"GREETINGS, UNDYNE!"

The blue fish adjusted her pace to first catch up with her friend, then walk alongside him.

"Whatcha got there? Did Asgore ask for those?"

"NOPE! I BOUGHT THEM BECAUSE TODAY IS KNOWN AS 'VALENTINE'S DAY' A DAY WHERE-"

"Oh, cool!" Undyne beamed. "Me and Alph' are doing something for that later today."

"THAT SOUNDS LOVELY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"She says it's a surprise. So either it's really really cool or really really soppy."

"THEY COULD BE BOTH, YOU KNOW. NEVER RULE OUT A THIRD OPTION!"

"I guess you're right," she laughed. "So you've got flowers to show your love, huh?"

"OF COURSE!"

"Who's the lucky girl?"

"GIRL? I DIDN'T GET THESE FOR A GIRL."

"Oh. Huh. Didn't think you swung my way."

"BUT I DON'T PLAY ON THE SWINGSET ANYMORE."

"That's not- Look, who are you-"

"SORRY UNDYNE, MUST DASH, I WANT TO MAKE SURE MOMENT OF BEQUEATHAL IS PERFECT!"

Papyrus sped up dramatically, and then turned into an alley. Undyne jogged a little to follow him, and caught sight of him on the far side of a chainlink fence cutting the alley in two, still keeping the pot perfectly level.

* * *

"C-come on... N-nearly... Ah, finally..."

It had taken a good minute or two of reaching behind her, but with a merciful clicking noise Alphys had finally closed the button on the back of her trousers. She was firmly reminded why she normally didn't bother wearing them. Not only did the rough denim chafe slightly against her scales, threading her tail through the hole in the back was an awkward affair. The button was slightly better than the dance of backing in the tail before even beginning to think about her legs, but it was still an awkward manoeuvre to do without help.

She checked herself in the mirror. Not bad so far, the trousers were the same material Undyne normally wore, and she had gone for a white vest instead of black, but once she swapped her glasses for contacts she'd look a lot more like her girlfriend. Now to check on the advanced part of this plan. She opened a wardrobe, rested her clawed hand on a palm scanner, and a her-sized breastplate and a poleaxe were revealed by a sliding panel. It didn't feel right to try and model Undyne's spear, she had to express herself differently somehow. She couldn't wait for Undyne to get home and see her nerdy girlfriend transformed into a mighty warrior-

_BANG._ " _HeyBabeholycrapyou'llneverbelievethisbutPapyrusisinlovewithsomeone!_ "

"AHH!" _BANG._

"Woah, why'd ya shut the wardrobe like that? What was in there?"

"Oh, um... I t-thought I saw a m-mouse."

"But the Mouse Family lives over on Flamesman Way."

"Oh, y-you're right." Fortunately the dead man switch would have kicked in. Alphys reopened the perfectly normal looking wardrobe and made a thing about checking it. "N-nope, no mice. Trick of the l-light, I guess."

Undyne shrugged. "Happens to all of us I guess. Hey, nice trousers."

"T-thank you-"

"Wait I forgot! Papyrus is in love with someone!"

"R-really? He sure kept that q-quiet."

"Yeah! Caught him getting a pot of blue bellbar flowers or whatever for the lucky guy."

"G-guy? He swings that way?"

"Nah, he gave up the swingset- dammit, he's got me thinking like him!"

"S-so who's he in l-love with?"

"Dunno, he wouldn't say. Ain't a girl, though, he said that much."

"Oh. M-maybe it's not a man either."

"You mean he's fallen for First Rock In The Ruins or something? I dunno, those Stones didn't seem like his type."

"Well is it a-anymore surprising th-than how we got together?"

"Alph! Don't belittle yourself saying it's a surprise we hooked up. It was clearly destiny!"

"S-sorry..."

"Dammit, wish I knew who he was going out with..." Undyne started pacing the bedroom a little, but stopped. Slowly she turned round to face Alphys, her grin growing exponentially as her gleaming yellow eye shone with excitement."

"Oh. Oh n-no. Unnie, you can't s-s-seriously suggest we-"

* * *

"-hide in this bush over here and wait for Papyrus to leave his house! I told you it's a brilliant idea!"

Alphys sighed. It hadn't taken more than a couple of seconds of Undyne's gaze to crumple her resistance, so now the two of them were indeed hiding in a large bush across the street from Papyrus' house, crumpled over an array of instruments as Alphys carefully piloted a drone she'd loaded up with surveillance equipment. Therm-scan had picked up no heat signatures, and Thaum-scan had picked up one magic signature, so it looked like Papyrus was alone in the house right now. She wished she'd boosted the signal range on the drone so they could have carried out this reconnaissance at home.

"HE STILL HASN'T PICKED UP HIS SOCK," came Papyrus' voice from the transceiver, "IF HE THINKS I'M CLEANING UP AFTER HIM... WELL HE'S PROBABLY RIGHT, BUT I'M GOING TO BE VERY CROSS ABOUT IT!"

"Nothing about getting ready for a date or anything, Alph?"

"N-no. It doesn't s-sound like he's going anywhere t-today."

"He's just gonna give 'em flowers and leave it at that? Weak play, dude! You gotta put some effort into it!" Alphys thought of the concealed breastplate and poleaxe, and nodded in agreement. "Hey, maybe they're coming round here instead of them going out!"

"It's c-certainly a possibility, Undyne. The r-restaurants are probably all b-booked up, and if he only l-learned about V-Valentine's today he wouldn't h-have time to-"

"Hello? Is somebody there? AHHHHH!"

Undyne had vanished from her vantage point besides Alphys, but only for two seconds. She returned carrying something large and purple and white and dropped it roughly behind the bush.

"Shhhhhh! We're on a mission! Oh, uh, hey there Toriel..."

Alphys twirled around at the name, staring at the woman who had been her ex-employer for a few minutes, and studying the blind shock on her face, dreading when the entirely justified indignation would emerge. The only apology Alphys could begin to summon was "..."

"Mom, where'd you go? Oh, howdy you two!"

Frisk and Asriel had clambered through the bush, clearly wondering whether they had suddenly been orphaned. Asriel in particular sighed in relief when he saw Toriel, while Frisk smiled a greeting at the would-be spies before looking to their mother. She was still silent, but met Frisk's eye and pointed to the fish and the lizard.

"Uh, I think Mom wants to know why you did that and what's going on."

Unabashed about the kidnapping, Undyne recounted the reason they were there. To Alphys' great surprise and even greater relief, Toriel seemed just as curious about Papyrus' love life as the children were.

"I mean, I always thought he was a nice young man. He deserves someone who makes him happy. But you are sure you have no idea who it is?"

"N-no your maj- I mean T-Toriel."

"Well then," mischief stole across Toriel's face, "I suppose we shall have to find out, hee hee!"

"Sure!" Undyne returned the royal smile with a massive grin. "The more the merrier! Good thing I picked such a huge bush. Now, we'd better be quiet in case-"

"I say, is someone over there? WOAH!"

A second large thing was deposited roughly behind the bush, white and pink and golden. He recovered faster than the first victim had.

"Oh, howdy Undyne! And children, it is good to see you! And... oh, h-hello Tori..."

"Undyne!" snapped Alphys, "Y-you can't k-k-keep doing that!"

* * *

Undyne kept doing that.

The bush remained a mostly excellent hiding place for the growing crowd, even if a random human may have done a double take at the large horns poking above it. In the meantime Undyne, Alphys, Frisk, Asriel, Toriel, Asgore, Mettaton, Dogaressa, Madjick, two Froggits and a polar bear were bundled around the equipment reporting the drone's observations, Toriel and Asgore flanking the group from opposite sides.

"Hmm, those are definitely bluebells," mused Asgore. "They're associated with humility and gratitude. Perhaps Papyrus feels indebted towards this person, or he may wish to express how humble he thinks they are."

"And does Papyrus know about floral symbolism, Asgore?" asked Toriel coolly.

"Hmm, good point. I did talk to him about it once, but he had that smile of his."

"Th-the one he gets when I t-talk about what I'm w-working on? Wh-where he clearly doesn't g-get it?"

"Yes, that one, Doctor. At least he's polite."

"Oh, those sound like the perfect flowers for me, darling," crooned Mettaton, "I'm very humble. In fact, I may be the most humble person I know! Well, except maybe Blooky..."

"Napstablook?" Frisk started smiling. "I think that would be nice. Papyrus would bring him out of his shell a little."

"I don't know," said Dogaressa, "how would they nuzzle? Neither of them even have a nose!"

Metallic lips contracted in a coy look. "Well I'm sure the good Doctor here could solve that problem."

"L-leave me outta this!"

"Come on, Alph! Who do you think he's going out with? I bet it's Dub, he'll be all over trying to untangle those ropes like a puzzle!"

"I... I... I-I d-don't know, don't p-pressure me!" Alphys steadied herself with a few deep breaths. "It-it's kind of a surprise he'd g-go out with anyone, P-P-Papyrus never struck me as the r-romantic type."

"Ribbit?"

"Not even then, Frank," said Undyne, "He told me how nice it was when Frisk flirted with him."

"There," said Toriel, "Romance can come from- wait a moment, Frisk, what were you doing-"

"Oh look!" said Frisk slightly too loud. "The Thaum-Scan's picking someone up!"

Twenty-three eyeballs swivelled to the screen as Alphys carefully rotated the drone to see up the street.

"F-false alarm, it's just S-Sans."

The drone's microphone must have been good, for everyone could hear the muffled sounds of the slippered feet on the pavement. Asgore risked raising his head above the bush to see the blue hoodie approach the house and go inside.

"That window on the left," whispered Asriel, "it's open. If he's gonna tell anyone it'll be his brother."

Alphys followed the directions, and sure enough a conversation was in progress.

"...totally did pick it up, bro."

"AND LEFT IT FLOATING WHERE YOU PICKED IT UP! I'M STILL NOT SURE HOW YOU MANAGED THAT."

"kinda hard to explain, betcha think it _socks_."

"SANS, I...! NO, THIS IS POINTLESS. NOT ON TODAY. SANS, I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING."

"Croak!" whispered Frank.

"DO YOU SEE WHAT'S ON THE TABLE?"

"...a rock."

"YES, AND NEXT TO THE ROCK?"

"flowers. you feelin' _blue_ , pap?"

"NO. THE OPPOSITE, IN FACT!"

"orange?"

"THOSE FLOWERS ARE FOR YOU, SANS!"

"What." Undyne's single word threatened to slice the bush in half.

"...huh?"

"HUMANS HAVE A TRADITION TODAY. THEY CALL IT VALENTINE'S DAY. ON IT THEY GIVE SMALL GIFTS OF AFFECTION TO THOSE THEY LOVE. SO THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING!"

"No..." said seven different people. Two said "Oh my..."

"oh. uh. looks pretty neat."

"I KNEW YOU'D LIKE THEM! AND NOW WE SHALL SPEND THE EVENING BONDING TOGETHER!"

"H-hey, where's U-Undyne?"

_BANG._ " **OH MY GOD PAPYRUS THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!** " Alphys' question was answered through the transceiver.

The jig well and truly up, the group took a moment to extract themselves from the bush and hurried over to the open door. Nobody had said anything since Undyne's interruption. Undyne was outraged, Sans was bored, and Papyrus was pleasantly surprised.

"UNDYNE! HELLO AGAIN! OH AND HELLO, YOUR MAJESTY! AND YOUR MAJESTY! AND FRISK! AND PRINCE ASRIEL! AND-"

"Cut the crap!" bellowed Undyne, "We heard what you and Sans are up to!"

"hey, leave me outta this _fishing_ expedition, lady."

"You can't date your own brother, that's gross! What do you even see in him?!"

"WHAT THE HECK, DATE? WHAT DATE?"

"I mean- I- Huh?" Papyrus' question arrested Undyne's tirade. Alphys stepped up to the mark.

"P-Papyrus, why are you g-giving Sans flowers?"

"BECAUSE IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY, OF COURSE!"

"B-but why Sans?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE MY BROTHER! EVEN WHEN HE'S BEING A LAZY BONES AND DRIVING ME CRAZY WITH BAD JOKES! IS... AM I DOING IT WRONG? AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO LOVE MY BROTHER?"

Everyone looked around, confusion slowly clearing from the room, replaced with embarassment which was just as silencing as the confusion. Naturally it was Frisk who took the important step forward to clear things up.

"Of course you are, Papyrus. It's just that's not what today is about. When we say Valentine's Day is about spending it with someone you love, we mean the kind of love that can end up in marriage."

The skeleton continued to grin as he looked down at the human.

"YOU MEAN... _EROS_? ROMANTIC LOVE? THE SORT BETWEEN UNDYNE AND DOCTOR ALPHYS? OR THAT THE KING AND QUEEN CLEARLY STILL FEEL BUT REFUSE TO ACT ON IN PUBLIC BECAUSE OF THE COMPLICATED EMOTIONS THEY FEEL REGARDING THE MISTAKES THEY HAVE MADE?"

Toriel and Asgore looked away from everyone in terminal embarrassment, including each other. Asriel looked at them. Frisk merely nodded patiently.

"WOWIE, I MUST LOOK LIKE A FREAKING WEIRDO RIGHT NOW! I MUST APOLOGISE FOR THE MISUNDERSTANDING! BUT THEN, WHEN IS IT APPROPRIATE TO EXPRESS THE _STORGE_ LOVE OF FAMILY I HAVE FOR SANS?"

"get me some extra ketchup for my birthday an' i'll consider myself loved, bro."

"PERFECT! FRISK, YOU HUMANS NEED TO LEARN TO BE MORE SPECIFIC IN YOUR DESCRIPTIONS!"

The mild remonstrance cut through all the tension, as everyone laughed - or croaked - at how unconcerned Papryus was with the misunderstanding.

"I'M KEEPING THE FLOWERS, REGARDLESS. I THINK THEY'LL MAKE NICE COMPANY FOR THE ROCK!"

"can ya train 'em to feed it for me?"

"NOT EVEN IF THAT IDEA MADE SENSE WOULD I DO IT! TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ONCE!"

"okay."

"Very well then," said Toriel with an excellent facsimile of her most dignified tone, "I think we have bothered Papyrus long enough."

"Hey Mom, is what he said-"

"And furthermore," she insisted slightly too loud, "I am sure there are more plans for Valentine's Day than Papyrus'."

"Well said," said Dogaressa, tail wagging, "Gamy's cooking steak!"

"That sounds wonderful. We shall leave you two in peace, then! Children, it's almost dinner time."

The two children followed their mother out to the street. Asgore left next, looking over at the three of them before pointedly heading in the opposite direction. The league of spies formally dissolved, soon Undyne and Alphys found themselves walking home, Undyne carrying all the equipment the surveillance operation had entailed.

"Hey, d'ya think Pap will ever find someone?"

"Oh, I'm s-sure he will."

"Well whoever he hooks up with better play fair with him, or they'll have _me_ to answer to!"

"A-and me!" squeaked Alphys. "So, um, d-do you think what he said ab-about Asgore and-"

"Hey! You got your top secret plans for tonight, Babe?"

"P-plans- oh, y-yes, I..." How could she finish the outfit with Undyne on tenderhooks like this? "Oh, I f-forgot to buy nice cream! C-could you go and wait for th-them to make a fresh batch and then b-buy two tubs?"

"Hell yeah!"

With a thundering clatter, a large supply of electronics fell to the ground as Undyne charged away. Alphys looked at the carrying job she'd inadvertently given herself, thought of the scar makeup she was thinking of putting around her eye, and with a grin concluded that it would be worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!


End file.
